Is muscle-building an effective solution for bullying? In other words, if you’re being bullied regularly, will working out for muscle gain stop it from happening? From my experience (and for adults and older teens/adolescents alike), yes, 100%. But let me elaborate.
The Backstory
I only weighed 120 pounds or so when I started resistance training seriously. At over 5 feet 10 inches in height, I didn’t have a solid frame by any standard. Even as a competitive soccer (i.e., football) player, which I was, a slightly wider build would have been advantageous. But my primary goal derived from lifting weights (at the time) was to increase my level of strength, not my size.
A more muscular physique, an added (and very welcomed) benefit, would naturally follow. However, even with being both bigger and stronger, it hadn’t crossed my mind that the bullying I occasionally suffered through might stop altogether. It did — almost overnight.
The only bullying I experienced after that first day of joining and becoming an official member of a gym, was by a group of young men (like myself, at that point) who found humor in my looking in the mirror (with my tanktop on) as this then-skinny guy performed upper-body exercises. Less than six months (and an additional 40 pounds of muscle) later, it was a different story.
The ridicule and a clear sense of superiority faded away, replaced with muffled whispers and quick stares that seemed to be made up of hate, insecurity, and jealousy… But at least they left me alone. Me just being me must have put a target on my back, except the muscle gain did provide a level of protection I previously didn’t have. Where before the contrast between my confident yet meak demeanor (combined, once again, with a relatively skinny physique) was maybe confusing to them, now I appeared as more intimidating, someone to contend with, or something of the like.
I can’t say for sure what did it, but there were a few things about myself (and my life) that I did know. I didn’t take up boxing or a form of martial arts. I didn’t dress differently. I didn’t walk around with an attitude (or in a manner that made me appear mentally ill). But I did feel better in my skin. And I was bigger — quite a bit bigger. Perhaps the bullies felt as though I had surpassed them. Or, possibly, they didn’t like the fact that I did it naturally; I mean, the word does get around in a local/commercial fitness center (and I did overhear them mention that I was on steroids, which I was oddly flattered by since the statement discounted the cumulation of my focused efforts [inside and outside of the gym]). Regardless, the bullying stopped (never to commence again).
The Past is Corrected
The next chapter of my life almost seemed to have preceded the above because it did in a way (and in part). There’s no doubt that when you lift, you look like you can take care of yourself. Your chest is out, your shoulders back, and your appearance is of a person who typically commands respect. This was the case a few years following my ‘Backstory’ bullying incidents. I had improved my physique further and happened to be in one of the best shapes of my life. But with being bigger & stronger, I still maintained a calm & respectful manner of being. I treated others well, displaying both sympathy & empathy, because this is who I was (or am, rather).
So, when I bumped into a bully from years prior, and especially since we were teens (in high school) when it all happened, it wasn’t difficult for me to let go of this part of my past. He was your textbook bully… regularly giving wedgies, light bruises, and whatnot; maybe funny to look back on, but not fun at the time, of course. I was a punching bag for whatever he might have been going through (I anticipate at home). It’s never right to hurt others as a means to transfer your pain — even when your pain is too great to handle alone. There are other avenues you can take, the right people to talk to, and positive/productive methods of dealing with your (own) suffering, more specifically.
To make a long story short, I bumped into this particular bully a couple of years later. His head dropped (or tilted forward/downward, more accurately) the moment he saw me — the reaction being a causal effect of me almost achieving twice my high school weight, I suppose. He appeared to be avoiding me, but I just went up to him, anyway. I wasn’t trying to stir the pot, as they say. I was genuinely happy to see him. This was someone who had been friends with a few good-hearted people that I knew personally. Forgiveness isn’t so hard when trust exists nearby.
Like so many others around that age, it was likely a blip that included taking his aggression out on others. Fast-forwarding to today, while we might not be considered friends (or even acquaintances), I’ve interacted with him enough times to say with assurance that he’s a decent human being. In other words, he’s not a bad guy, nor did he seem so upon meeting after my transformation.
Either way, whether or not a person changes — they treat them differently based on their appearance. And the more presence you have, the more respect is commanded, in my opinion. Training can do this for you. Muscle-building requires discipline, a strong mind, and an objective outlook (because metal weights don’t care about your feelings [i.e., you need to work out to get results]).
Muscle Building as a Solution
No matter how you spin it, bullying occurs in situations where the bully perceives themself to be superior to their prey. Since it’s usually sparked by a physical comparison (and even when it’s not, in many instances), it’s pretty well-established (as I’ve already pointed out) that a strong appearance can lead to neutralization of this occurrence and, sometimes, reconciliation.
It’s a classic tale of the Alpha male (or female) presiding over its challenger. Becoming more muscular may not be the quickest fix to solving the problem of being bullied, but it’s faster than most. It also results in countless health benefits aside from literally protecting yourself from potential physical & emotional harm (as violence and, particularly, threats of violence have somewhat become synonymous with bullying [based on countless scenarios]).
A bully will often resort to their animalistic side/nature, becoming aggressive & territorial as well as attempting to garner support, when confronted (trying to “win” at all costs, so to speak) — so a strong stance could ultimately help… and as I’ve discovered, actually helps avoid confrontation altogether. It’s safe to say that this probably applies to the great majority of school, workplace, and social event bullying.